The Moustache and I – By “Kattabomman”

My grandfather was a political journalist and a distinguished author with a great sense of humor. Impressive, huh? I never got to know him well enough; he passed on when I was a mere child of five. But with every piece of his writing that I encounter, I feel a little closer to the wonderful person he was. I invite you now to read this humorous article of his, published first over 60 years ago in a Tamil newspaper. My humble asides are in italics; the rest is original work by my grandfather. Without further ado, I am honored to present

The Moustache and I 

By “Kattabomman”

All my friends in the journalistic fraternity call me “Kattabomman.”

I am a nationalist and I belong to Ramanathapuram (a region in the Indian state of Tamil Nadu). But that has nothing to do with the pet name that seems to have stuck. In the office and outside, I am always greeted as Kattabomman. Whenever I hear that name, I feel at least 12 inches taller; and that, in a manner of speaking adds considerably to my height.

I owe this feeling of exhilaration to my moustache. It is true that mine, in some peculiar way, looks like the Kattabomman moustache, though much smaller. (Veerapandiya Kattabomman was a Tamil freedom fighter. He fought against the subjugation of the British East India Company).

There are “moustaches” and there are moustaches. Before the Second World War, many, even in placid South India, sported the Hitler moustache. The film fans sported the Chaplin moustache, which did not seem to be very different from Hitler’s moustache, though Chaplin had nothing to do with Hitler. There was the Errol Flynn moustache for the sophisticated, dashing, debonair youths. There was also the “yera” moustache, named after a local fish. The list is legion. But for no special reason I myself had stuck to the Kattabomman moustache. There have been occasions when I have been proud of it. Believe me, there have been occasions when my moustache has almost ruined me!

Sometimes some faces look better with a moustache. With some, their face and moustache do not go well. I do not know if I look better with mine. In any case, I did not grow mine to look better. It was just a fad, and like all “men” with moustaches, I have developed a great love for it; even in the face of acute crises, I have stood by my moustache.

Cut to Size

The other day in Bombay, as newspapers have reported, Vijay Shivaji, an employee of a private firm, had a real problem, because he had not only a moustache, but was also in the habit of fiddling with the tips of his moustache whenever his boss appeared before him.

This practice proved too expensive for him. Irritated by the “affront”, his boss dismissed him from service. The engineering Mazdoor Sabha, however, took up his case with the Maharashtra Industrial Tribunal which ordered that he be reinstated. Fortunately for him, an agreement reached between the Sabha and the employers said that the employee should remove the tips of his moustache which had been a “source of irritation” to the employer. Vijay agreed to cut his moustache to size. This was the UNI story, duly played by all the Indian Dailies.

Editors Allergy

In my case, my moustache cost me a prospective job. When I was down and out I applied for a job and was duly called for an interview by the Editor of the paper. I presented myself before the Editor with my moustache but no long sideburns! There were the usual questions about qualifications, experience, salary drawn, and so on. Everything else seemed to be satisfactory to the Editor. But I did not realize then the Editor was allergic to the “frightening moustache” which I had sported. He sent me away. I have not heard from him again. I have every reason to suspect that my Kattabomman moustache cost me a good job in an established Daily.

Thank god I did not go to the guillotine like that Veera Pandiya Kattabomman. I am back again at work, as a journalist. And where I now work, the boss is not only not allergic to my (or any other variety of) moustache, but is inclined to endorse others to sport moustaches. My moustache stays.

The End!

What do you think?! Is Grandfather’s writing style similar to ours? Let us know at editorjaanu@gmail.com!