Jane and the Fire – Part I
Charles Dickens received active feedback on his novel Great Expectations because he 
published it chapter by chapter in a magazine. I think that is quite frankly GENIUS! This way, he got varied, honest feedback about his writing! Now, this isn’t a novel, but it is a story I want feedback on, so we are going to try out his idea. I want honest feedback, readers! This is a story I’ve just started, about a girl who’s struggling with a big change – moving to a new home. Jane’s story takes place in 1958 – the fateful year of the Chicago school fire.
It’s raining too hard to see out the window, so Jane gives up on that and turns back around to her mother, who is stirring pasta sauce on the stove.
“Can I please sit on the fire escape, Mama?” she asks, and, anticipating the answer, adds quickly, “I won’t do anything, I’ll just sit there!”
“No,” says Mrs. Joyce curtly, turning her haggard countenance to her daughter. “Jane, you know full well how tired we all are. I told you to watch your cousins. Now I’ve got to finish dinner so your father can bring it to Uncle Wallace.”
Jane kicks the ground. “Billy and Billy are asleep.” Her mother doesn’t answer.
Jane feels, not for the first time, a burst of annoyance. Three weeks in Chicago, three weeks, and the only things she’s seen are the church, her school, and the inside of her own home! She’s not even been on the fire escape yet because of the endless rain. She doesn’t think she likes cities that much. There’s too much smoke and too little space. It’s hard to believe that a month ago she was in a large, open farmyard, and longing to go to the big city.
She goes back to the window, and looks at her reflection critically. She’s twelve, thin, and tall, beribboned and freckled, with black lace up boots. She dislikes the boots. At home, she was allowed to go barefoot all the time. At home – she still doesn’t consider
this place home. Home is where she learned to milk a cow and squirt milk into the cat’s mouth, although most of the time the milk didn’t quite reach the cat. This – she looks disdainfully out the window – this place isn’t home.
Mrs. Joyce is finished with dinner now, and hands Jane a covered dish. “Give this to your father, please.”
Jane takes the dish to her father, who is in his study writing away. Mr. Joyce is a journalist for the Tribune, and he wants to make a good impression on his boss. He listens absentmindedly as Jane passes on Mrs. Joyce’s instructions for the delivery of the pasta dinner to Uncle Wallace, who is a very bad cook. Jane remembers going to his house on their very first night in Chicago and pretending to eat dinner, in an attempt to not hurt his feelings. She wanders over to the spare bedroom, occupied at the moment by Twin Terrors Billy and Billy. They look sweetly innocent at moment, asleep. Billy, the one on the top bunk of the bunk bed, is dangerously close to the edge of his bunk, so Jane gives him a gentle push. He rolls over, still fast asleep. Jane feels fondness for her young cousins; it is rare that she feels fond of them when they are awake.
What happens to Jane? Why are both of her cousins named Billy? Does Jane sneak onto the fire escape? To find out what happens next, give me your feedback! We’ll only continue the story next month if you like it 🏡
